Who Made It? Chris Weitz
Who’s In It? Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Ashley Greene
It’s Out: Nov. 19th 2009
It’s Rated: M
It’s Goes For: 130mins
Let me start by saying that any negative comments I make are not made because of the following cliché reasons:
I’m a guy: that is no reason at all not to see or like this movie.
It’s a romance: it’s not like it’s the only romance I have ever seen.
Robert Pattinson: regardless of what you think of the guy, it’s not much of a reason to not go see it or like it. I don’t really like Nicole Kidman but that won’t stop me from liking a movie she’s in…if it’s any good.
The saga’s take on Vampires: every Vampire story has variations. Old school Vamps were killed by wooden stakes and crucifixes…most new ones aren’t, some are hurt by silver, others are not, some fly, some can survive daytime if it’s overcast, others are killed by any day time light, and so on and so forth. Vampires who are repulsed by what they are isn’t anything new and the fact that these Vampires aren’t killed by daylight, but merely “sparkle” doesn’t bother me…I actually think that twist on the legend is kinda cool.
So I stand by the claim (I am making now) that I am reviewing New Moon as a movie fan, not as a guy obligated to watch a girlie romance.
How I felt after walking out of New Moon can be summed up in one word: disappointed. (But I’ll write more words anyway) I thought Twilight was average at best but thankfully the trailer made its sequel look much better. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. To admit to myself that I preferred the first chapter makes me feel robbed. But, I do and these are some of the reasons why.
It is finished yet?
As with all novel adaptations, the first Twilight was criticized for leaving out sections of the book. So naturally, with an extended run time of nearly two and a half hours, one would expect New Moon to not make the same “mistake”. Now, I haven’t read the book, so I can’t comment on it’s transformation to film, but I do know that the opening titles should have been a hint toward the entire movie, in that both were juust waaay toooo looooonng! I hope they included everything from the book, otherwise, God only knows how long it could have been! Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for joining the “don’t leave anything out from the book” group, but people have to understand that there is no way of including every-single-element from the novel without shortening or merging some to cut down on what would probably become a 6 hour movie. But on the other hand, except for Jacob Black’s Werewolf revelation, nothing really happens between the first and last 20 minutes and it makes you wish they did something to shorten New Moon to a more bearable length.
Do we care Bella?
If you look below, you will be able to listen to a “no-holds-barred, feminist” review of New Moon where you hear reviewer Beth describe the movie as promoting “if a woman doesn’t have a man, she is nothing”. While I agree that Bella really goes overboard with the moping and feeling sorry for herself once Eddie leaves (for months she ditches her friends and only speaks to her dad when he’s consoling her after crying fits), to Beth I say ‘I’ll see your point and raise you” because I think it’s undeniable that New Moon says women ‘use and abuse’. It’s not enough that Bella ditches the friends she’s known since before vampy Edward came along, but when he suddenly takes off she turns to Jacob, the lifelong friend who’s obviously in love with her, to help her feel better. She hangs out with him every day, even gets him to build a motorcycle for her (just so she can get a “rush” – where she gets visions of the ex); takes him to the movies so she can stop the other bloke who’s after her from making the moves; pursues him after he pulls an Edward and turns away from her for her protection (when he realizes he’s, like, half-wolf); is entrusted with his secret and gets within a breath of kissing him before the mention of Edward makes her travel to the other side of the globe no less. But it’s to save his life; surely she wouldn’t just lead on the hopeful-to-be-more-than-a-friend for few months and then ditch him too? No, she does. And it gets better, *SPOILER* when she brings Edward back (coz everything’s fine now, of course) she tells the wolf she “loves him too”…in front of Vamps no less! But asks him “not to make her choose”, coz if he did, she’d choose Edward…“it’s always been him, it always will be”…what?! BITCH! Hot tip Bella: if you get your heart broken, don’t go to the other bloke who loves you for help believing that his feelings won’t come into play. You ripped his heart out of his newly buffed chest and fed it to a Vampire…metaphorically of course.
The Script
Haters pass off the acting as shit, but in their defense there are few great actors that can make a script with bad dialogue any good, which is where I think the problem is. Like I said, I haven’t read the books, but I can’t imagine them full of such shitty conversation between characters and the actors seem more than adequate in other film roles (Kristen Stewart in particular…and thank god for Michael Sheen, who plays the leader of the Volturi and one of the best actors going around…too bad we have to wait for Breaking Dawn to see him again). Even Taylor Lautner (Jacob), the most natural actor, falls flat once he becomes a Werewolf. The lovey-dovey scenes seem to try too hard to be really, really emotional and heartfelt, but guys guys guys…maybe less is more?
It doesn’t give me much hope for the third installment Eclipse, which has already completed filming and due in cinemas June 2010.
BTW, would it kill you to smile?! If this is the great love story of our time, can either one of the two involved (I’ll take anyone) at least look happy about it? I think in the two movies, I have seen them smile maybe three times. Or maybe that’s another message of the movie.
1. A woman is nothing without a man.
2. Women “use and abuse”.
- and -
3. If you’re absolutely, undoubtedly, irrefutably in love with someone, you don’t need to look happy about it. Awkward conversation will be fine.
I’m not upset or disappointed because I’m a Twilight fan. I just don’t like to see an average, boring movie when by all accounts, it should have been anything but.
2 stars.
-The Prince
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