I’ve waxed lyrical about the delight that is Christopher Meloni aka Detective Stabler aka Detective Daddy before and here I am folks, ready to spread The Good Word, yet again.

‘Cause ya boy CM has posed 1. Naked 2. Leeeeeeisurely and 3. In the splits for Men’s Health and by gawd, it must be celebrated.

Ah, to be that itty-bitty kettlebell in the foreground.

A now-60 – SIXTY – Christopher Meloni also spoke to the mag about the fact we all keep calling him names like Zaddy et al.

“It’s cool as sh*t,” he replied simply.

christoper meloni, naked

He also spoke about his exercise regime, telling Men’s Health:

“[Exercise is] therapy, church, meditation, and a kind of personal reengagement where the brain and the body get to talk to one another.”

And the pièce de résistance, Christopher Meloni describes his bootayyy as a “Venus flytrap” which is *chef’s kiss* pure poetry:

“While we look out over the Hudson and Meloni eats peanut butter, we talk about the flow state—how sometimes, like right now for him, you hit all the green lights. When I tell him I’ve been killing flies with incredible accuracy lately, he says, “I catch flies with my ass cheeks, like a Venus flytrap.” He giggles wildly. “I’m clever with my ass cheeks!” he says, cackling. Moments later, a fly lands on the table. Meloni raises his hands. There’s a clap, then silence, and Meloni is smiling, once again looking down at a dead body.”

We’ll admit, these Chris Meloni pics are second to ‘naked except sunnies and a kilt’, which you can peep here. Highly recommended for those in lockdown. ‘Tis amazing. Halloween goals and a friendship test all in one.

Image: Law & Order: SVU